Tag Archives: relationships

motivational monday

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XX, K
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the ‘unloveables’

This post is dedicated to the ones with the wall around their heart, built so high and so strong, that entry is impossible; the ones who are scared; the ones who don’t accept love, even when it is handed to them with a cherry on top…

the unloveables.

I’m sure we all have these people in our lives or some of us may even be these people. I call them “the unloveables”. Not because nobody loves them, but simply because nobody could ever love them enough. They’re not the ‘heartbreak kids’, the ones who have loved and been hurt too many times to love again. They’re not fragile. They’re not sad. Well, maybe they are, but they don’t know that. They’re not something you treat gently, because the unloveables rarely come packaged up in bubble wrap with caution signs.

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They’re usually always smiling. They’re tough and a little rough around the edges. They laugh at jokes at their expense and don’t need the reassurance of many. The unloveables are the ‘independent’ ones. They’re usually the people who you might even admire, for they never need someone to make them happy. They can do that on their own. They rarely ever fall in love. Nobody can disappoint them, because they rely on themselves and set no expectations. But, true and complete independence is a facade. And though nobody may be able to disrupt that little self-sustaining world, nobody is there to make it better. Nobody is there to show you what you’re missing. Of course, I believe in inner happiness (didn’t I blog about inner peace?), but sometimes we all need somebody.

I always felt the unloveables were lonely. It must be tough to never know love and guard that fortress around their heart. Sure, they’re happy, but they’re missing out. And I felt bad, even though I shouldn’t. But then I met one. And loving an unloveable?

That’s even tougher.

XX, K  (sorry for the late post!)

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dust bunnies

We’ve all done it. Seen a little bit of dust or crumbs on our floor, but instead of picking it up or throwing it away, we push it under the rug. That little nuisance is out of sight, out of mind! But what happens when you keep sweeping things under the rug? Pretty soon, all those specks of dust begins to pile up and before you know it, it’s obvious there is something under that rug. And when somebody else decides to peek underneath, all the dust bunnies come swarming out and you remember just how many bits of dirt you’ve hidden under that rug.

That’s what it’s like in my mind.

I like to sweep all my troubles away. I like to pretend they don’t exist, because then, for a little while, everything is perfect and nothing hurts. And life goes on, just the way I want it to. Until I remember just how many things I’ve tried to forget. And I realize that I can’t really just forget them. Pretty soon, those dust bunnies come out from under that rug and I’m suffocating in my past.

But I (along with most everyone else) always forget that you can always can clean everything up. It might take time, it might not be easy, it might be tiring exhausting, and it will definitely make you regret ever pushing things away. But even the biggest pile of hidden dust bunnies can be gathered up and thrown out. Even our most haunting mistakes can be washed away. We won’t forget what happened, but we can get rid of the pain it’s caused. We can always start fresh.

Lesson to learn? Stop sweeping that dust under the rug. Stop trying to forget, but rather learn to accept and move forward. With a little bit of struggle and suffering now, you’ll save yourself from that avalanche of hopelessness later on.

XX, K

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my heart to take

“I’ll close my eyes and pretend I don’t see, the love you don’t feel when you’re holding me”

Is there anything worse than investing your everything into someone, only to realize they gave you nothing in return?

And yea, there is.

When you can’t stop giving bits and pieces of yourself up to someone who keeps taking it. Even when they don’t want it. Even when you have nothing else to give and all your left with is a shell of who you used to be. That’s worse.

XX, K

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do you want to play a game?

Current situation: Disinfecting my entire body with 2 1/2 litres of hand sanitizer, because this gross couple on the bus decides to grope each other LITERALLY 2 inches away from my face and then proceeds to fall on me every time we turn a corner. I was d i s g u s t e d.

Do you ever get in one of those moods? The one where you’re borderline depressed? Not quite at the “eat all the foods and use all the tissues and watch all the sad movies” stage, but you’re edging dangerously close to that cliff and want to back the f up. That was me the other day. But I really wanted to watch a movie! Trouble is, basically every movie, whether its a comedy or action or cartoon, has some sort of ‘love/relationship’ aspect. And a borderline sad girl with a pantry full of cookies watching anything to do with love is NOT a good combination.

So I settled on a Saw marathon. A torture/horror movie would be the perfect pick!! I mean, you could be stuck in one of those traps…so really, life could be a lot worse. So I grab a cup of tea and get super pumped for my night of evil maniacs and a whole lot of blood.

5 minutes into the movie…

AHHH WTF THIS IS A METAPHOR FOR MY LIFE!!! OH MY GOD!!! THE TRAP IS MY RELATIONSHIP AND I CAN ONLY ESCAPE IF I TORTURE MYSELF!!! BUT IF I DON’T LEAVE I’LL DIE!!! OH MY GOD!! THE PHYSICAL PAIN/TORTURE REPRESENTS MY EMOTIONAL PAIN/TORTURE!!! *starts bawling uncontrollably*

I knew Saw was a horror film, little did I know my psychopathic female mind would turn it into an emotional horror film. Saw had jumped out from behind a tree, picked me up and tossed me right over that emotional cliff into the pits of despair!! The thing I was most mad about? WHAT MOVIE AM I GOING TO WATCH NOW?! If Saw can’t do the trick, what will?!!??!

And now here I am, frustrated to my very core, because all I want to do is watch a movie and walk away happier than before. Is that so much to ask?!

Some one help a girl out here, what are your go-to movie choices for when you need a little rescuing?

XX, K

ps: To my international viewers/followers! I see you!! Sending so much love to y’all! xxx

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